sister YASMIN MOGAHED- TOXIC MARRIAGES

TOXIC MARRIAGES: Dont stick to it 

When my daughter was younger, she got sick and needed antibiotics. But she refused to take it. I would literally have to force it down her throat, but she would still find a way to spit it out. She had a fever. She was in pain. But she refused to take the very thing that would cure her of that pain.

My daughter is not the only one who does this.

Recently, I wrote about a very sensitive topic and one that I feel quite passionate about. I spoke about women who refuse to leave toxic relationships, no matter what. But I did not mention one of the reasons why this happens, because it's very deep.
And will be difficult for many people to hear.

Last year, I had to do something that was difficult for me. I met a woman who told me that her husband had hired a prostitute a year or two prior. She told me that he ended up building a relationship with her. So he was now in an ongoing affair with this prostitute for more than a year. And this woman not only stayed married to this man, she continued to live under the same roof with him.
For a year.

That is when I had to do something very difficult. This woman was withering away. She was in so much pain. But she refused to take the medicine. It was being shoved down her throat. But she kept spitting it out. Why was she doing this?

So I looked her hard in the eyes to make sure she was really hearing me. And I said, as firmly as I could, "He. Is. Not. Your. Lord."
And I know that hit her. Because that's when she started crying.

I have written and spoken a lot about unhealthy attachments. But many of us don't really understand what that means. This woman's experience is what it looks like in action. But of course, it will be dressed up with pretty words like "love", "doing it for the kids", "loyalty", "sabr/patience", and "sacrifice".

When in fact it is just worship. Plain and simple.

This is what it looks like when you have taken an object (your husband), and placed him in a part of your heart where only Allah should be.
And as a result, you have become a slave.

Please hear my words. You will never be able to act with the dignity that is befitting of you, so long as your heart is worshiping a human being, instead of God.

You will always be degraded and humiliated, because that is what shirk of any kind does to us. It degraded us. It makes us weak. It destroys us from the inside. I explained to her that through her unhealthy attachment to him, it was as if she had placed a chain around her own neck and then attached it to his car. Where ever he drove, he was dragging her along. And the only way to free herself, was to break that chain. The only way to heal was to finally swallow the medicine that was being shoved down her throat.

~~ Sister yasmin mogahed ~~